I’m a model railroader.

It feels strange to write that.

You see, model railroading is an incredible hobby. It’s tactile, it incorporates sound, motion, mass, and a sense of place and purpose. It’s a way to reflect and interpret the world around you, the world as it used to be, or the world inside your imagination. It taps into a child-like wonder and something deep inside our DNA.

So if the hobby is so great, why am I afraid to admit I’m part of it?

Model railroading means many things to many people. For some, it’s a train under the tree at holidays. For others, it’s train sets flying around in a circle at hundreds of scale miles per hour.

For me, it’s a serious matter. It’s seeking understanding, it’s the pursuit of knowledge, and it’s chasing a specific objective. It’s the accurate depiction of one half block of a specific city hundreds of miles away, a specific brick factory, and a short stretch of track, that I seek to recreate in excruciating detail on a shelf in my office.

Thousands of people drive over those tracks and past that generic building in Pennsylvania each and every day without paying it a moment of attention. But for me, I think about that singular place every day from hundreds of miles away.

So if I take it all so seriously, why am I afraid to admit it is part of my identity? Well, model railroad identity seems complicated.

Labels

There are two types of model railroaders – people who build a community with others or join a club, and those, like me, who are “lone wolves”.

There are two types of model railroaders – those who “sit in the armchair” and collect boxes of models, and those who build and operate their models.

There are two types of model railroaders – prototype operators who model exact train movements on exact dates, and people who like to watch a train, any train, go around the track.

There are two types of model railroaders – those who use DC power to run their trains and those who use DCC.

There are two types of model railroaders – those who belong to the NMRA and those who don’t.

There are dozens of different scales and gauges and ways to enjoy the hobby.

The labels and categories are overwhelming.

Instead of labels, maybe I should focus on the “why”. Maybe we spend too much time labelling ourselves and labelling others.

Maybe there’s a trap in model railroading: because we are so specific and serious about our modeling, that specificity and seriousness embroils everything else in the hobby – including our relationships with the hobby and our peers.

Why do I spend so much time categorizing myself by approach and methods and credentials?

Why do I suppress this part of my identity?

Why do I have a natural instinct to look down on people who enjoy the hobby a different way?

Maybe we’re each afraid of being misunderstood. Maybe we’re afraid of being lumped in with a segment of the hobby with which we do not identify. Is this why thousands of us hide from the rest?

Maybe we all take our relationship with the hobby too seriously.

Is this why I’m afraid of saying the words – “I am a model railroader”? Or why I’m silently judgmental about how others express themselves?

I’m starting to overcome my fear. Lately, I’ve exchanged emails with like minded modelers. I even started this blog.

Overcoming my fear and stepping out of the shadow has felt liberating. I’m still not 100% confident, but at least today, I can say, “I’m Derrick and I’m a model railroader”

But maybe I need to ease up on everybody else too. When we start to engage more broadly, will we tap into a flywheel of interest and momentum? If the first priority of the hobby is to express yourself, perhaps our second priority should be creating a safe environment where others can share and participate in the joy too?

I registered this blog in April of 2020. For those keeping score, it’s now September of 2024. After avoiding this for years, I plan to post here from time to time. My goal is to hopefully leave the hobby a little bit better than I found it.